Before May 30, 2009, I had dated and been engaged to Andrew for a little over 7 years. Much of our relationship had been long distance but we made it through the hardships with communication and a whole 'lotta love. Walking down the aisle, I knew that I walking toward my best friend; someone who would treat me well, take care of me when I was sick, laugh with me and love and support me and our kids with every fiber of his being. Standing at the gate, waiting to walk down the aisle, the only people I could see were Andrew and Preacher Rick. This hadn't been planned, but it was an amazing unplanned moment. Looking at him, I had no doubt in my mind that we were doing the right thing.
After May 30, 2009, I wonder what in the hell I was thinking! We were truly taking a leap of faith that our years together and love for each other would be enough to take us through the rest of our life together. I have realized that I didn't know nearly as much about Andrew as I thought. I didn't truly know what he was like to live with. I didn't have the level of intimacy I should with him. We hadn't thoroughly explored our relationship and the different paths we could go down together and/or separately.
In the past 8 months of marriage, I have learned more about Andrew than I ever imagined possible. In the past 8 months of marriage, I have grown to love my husband in a way that I can only wish others could experience. In the past 8 months of marriage, there has never been a doubt in my mind that I did the right thing marrying the man I sleep next to every night. When I see all the ways in which our relationship and love has grown over this time being married, I realize that the leap we took on our wedding day was a lot scarier than I imagined and paid off more than anything else in my life.
I keep wondering if I love and feel this close to him today, how in the world was the love I had for him on our wedding day enough to let me know he was the man I wanted to marry? Even when I thought I knew everything about him and that there wasn't anything else to learn about him or our relationship, I didn't know anything! The amazing thing is that our shared values, love and relationship really was enough for us to step into this lifelong journey together even though it feels like nothing compared to what we have today!
A couple of months before we got married, Laurel and I went to a shoe store for her to finally get the running shoes she needed. While she was being fitted, we started talking to the guy who was doing her fitting and I told him I was getting married. Instead of being the typical guy who says "don't do it" or just says "congratulations" without much feeling, this guy told me how I would love being married and that there was nothing better in the world than going home to your best friend. At the time, I was shocked at his statement because it was so out of the norm. I heard him and responded with something like "Yeah, I'm really excited!" thinking that I knew exactly what he felt for his wife and that it wouldn't be anything new for us. Gah-lee was I wrong. I now really know what he meant because it truly is the best thing in the world to come home to your best friend.
Andrew is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I love that his first priority is our relationship and that what he wants most in this world is to be a good person, husband and father (someday). More important than having an M.D. at the end of his name is having a roof over our heads, shoes on our feet and happiness in our home. Yes, there are some things that annoy me about him (like how easily he gets angry at traffic when there is nothing he can do about it) and there are parts of our relationship that we continue to work on. But these things are so minor compared to the amazing time we are having getting to know each other better, watching "The Office" and laughing together, looking forward to our future and working with what we have in the present.
We are still newlyweds, I get that. I get that this rapid growth of my love and admiration for him will probably slow down at some point ( I hope not). I get that it will change drastically when children become part of the equation. Right now, I am savoring these feelings because, as I sit writing this post, I keep looking at the clock, waiting for him to get off work and walk through that door so I can give him a big ole' kiss and hug. So far, mawage is pretty damn great!
