tv-less life

In February, we are canceling our dish network television. The contract will be up and we decided it wasn't worth the $48 per month to have all of these stations (most of which we don't watch) and for the few shows we actually watch (that are also available to watch online). It won't be easy, I'm sure, but we really think it is worth a shot.

With the knowledge of a tv-less life dawning in the near future, I started thinking about what I'm going to do with all the time I will have when I'm not mindlessly sitting in front of the television. My first thought was, " I'm going to read! I'm going to read sooo many good books."

Then I realized that I would probably want other things to do and so I started a list of to-dos:
-cut and hem the fabric for my cubicle walls that I haven't done yet
-make decorative pillows for the guest bed
-reorganize our pictures and make an awesome wall in our downstairs hallway
-work outside pruning the bushes and preparing for spring
-clean out my t-shirt and pajama drawers (and maybe start making a blanket out of the meaningful ones)
-paint the unfinished bread box
-repaint the ragged bookshelf
-get/make curtains for nearly every room in our home
-work on our picture album
-sand and re-stain the kitchen table and chairs which are in need of some t.l.c.
-paint the chip in the handrail on the stairs
-work on getting marks off of walls
-decorate the downstairs bathroom because it is BARE
-rethink the downstairs seating situation since it will no longer be focused on the television

I'm sure that will be added on to and it also will not all get done right away. But when I was looking at that list I thought...I need a hobby. I need to find something that I enjoy that I can do for those times I don't want to do the stuff around the house.

I go to some classes and swim at the gym down the road from us which takes up a little over an hour of my night but that still leaves a lot of time since I get off work so early. After thinking on it for a little while I realized that the answer was right in front of my face and readily available to me. I'm going to:
-blog
-read
-sew
-bake
-and maybe blog about the books I'm reading, stuff I'm sewing and yummies I'm baking

-blog
Laurel wrote me an email after I sent her some pictures from Thanksgiving encouraging me to share more - blog more - and I'm so grateful for that. I have gotten back into the blogging and really love doing it just for me. Putting down my thoughts is pretty cathartic and having a record of what is going on in my life at certain points in time is really nice. Even if only a few people read it, I love that I have this outlet and that those few people know me that much better. (I still really want to meet MT, by the way, since she is my sister's best friend and I have never even met her but I really feel like I know her.)

-read
Ever since I was a kid, I have enjoyed reading. But after reading Pride and Prejudice, I fell in love with it. While in middle and high school, though, it was difficult to find the time to read for pleasure. In undergrad and graduate school, I was reading so much for classes that when I had time off, reading was the last thing I wanted to do. Once I graduated, I started reading for pleasure and loving every second of it. Classics, silly love stories, tear jerkers, thought-provokers, I am up for them all. Right now I am reading Great Expectations for the first time. For Christmas, I asked Andrew for a date to the bookstore where we set a budget and I came out of it with 6 new books to read. I can't wait.

-sew
A couple of years ago, my Mom bought me a sewing machine because I had dabbled with making some curtains for her, a duvet and pillows for Laurel and a couple of other projects that I really enjoyed. It is sitting on the shelf above my washer and dryer and I haven't really even touched it since we got married. I want to do more. I started looking up tutorials for how make a skirt, faux roman shade, dish mat, apron, tote bag and other projects. It should be a lot of fun to see what I can do. And when we add a little one to our family, maybe I can make some cool clothes and other fun things.

-bake
Now this one is tricky. I really, really love to bake. I love how precise it is, how great it feels to start with simple ingredients and finish with a delicious treat and, mostly, how happy the delicious treats make people. What I don't love is how big it makes my thighs when I sample the goods. While I want to bake more, I also want to fit into my jeans. So, I think the solution to my problem is just to offer my services to people more often. "Oh, you are throwing a birthday party. Would you maybe want a homemade cake?" I have wanted to take a cake decorating class for a while. Maybe this is my chance to do that and really learn how to make a delicious AND beautiful cake.

-and maybe blog about the books I'm reading, stuff I'm sewing and yummies I'm baking
This would just be a way to combine all of these things together. I'll blog about how I'm surviving withough television, what I'm reading, new projects for sewing and the goodies coming out of my kitchen. Why not, right?

p.s. Please don't think I'm going all crazy and giving up the good shows completely...that is why God invented Hulu :)

life these days

The end of one year and beginning of another always brings a time of reflection (at least for me). When I think about what I was doing this time last year, I am pretty amazed by how different my life is.

This time last year:

Andrew and I were living in Augusta. Even though we didn't like it, we decided to make the best of it, take time to enjoy each other and cross our fingers that Andrew's medical school future would keep us in Augusta. That was what we imagined our future would be: Andrew is medical school at MCG, us living in Augusta and starting a family in that town.

I had a part-time job and Andrew was working full-time as a cancer research associate at MCG and part-time at his old job in Atlanta. Andrew was enjoying his job and coworkers, worked hard and hoping to get into medical school. Money wasn't flowing freely but it wasn't unbearable. We lived comfortably within our means and without any trouble paying bills and doing what we wanted.

Our future was uncertain and had been for a long time. We were waiting on the medical school decision and had no idea what would come next. Would he get in to school somewhere? Would we be in Augusta? Would I find a full-time job? We had no idea what we would be doing in a year and were trying to remember that whatever happened, we would be okay.

This year:

Andrew and I are living in the Atlanta area. And we're loving it! There are so many opportunities here and we love being so much closer to our friends and family. In April, Andrew found out that he would be attending medical school in the Atlanta area and our lives turned around. We are building our future in Norcross, Andrew is in school at Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine-Georgia Campus and we want to start our family in this town.

I have a full-time job and Andrew is a full-time medical student. In June, I was offered a job at Friendship Force International and began two weeks before we officially moved to Norcross. I really enjoy my job, take MARTA in to work everyday and make a pretty decent non-profit salary. Money is not flowing as freely as it did before but we are still making it, living within our means and trying (as much as possible) not to use student loans. They are used for big things like expensive car repairs but other than that, we live off of my salary. It isn't always easy but we do our best and enjoy what we have.

Our future is still not certain (I don't think anyone's ever is) but we have a clearer picture of where we are headed. Andrew is in medical school and will be for the next 3 1/2 years, we will be in this area for that same time, I have a job I enjoy and we are looking forward to trying to start a family.

It seems the only thing that is the same as this time last year is that Andrew and I are still crazy about each other and enjoying our time together as a married couple. We are trying to let life flow, not plan everything out and remember that even the things that were difficult in the past have led us to this great point in our lives. Who knows what the future will hold but if it is as good as this last year, I can't wait to see what happens!

my momma

strong

loves her kids intensely

protective

funny

smart

intuitive beyond belief

listens

gives the best advice

gives-

everything she has

every day of her life

a crier

amazing laugh

great hugger

values traditions

always willing to try new things

reads

does crossword puzzles and sudoku

instilled a love of reading in her kids

my best friend

who is guaranteed to be sobbing at this very moment

thats my momma

and the momma of my brother and sisters

who would probably echo what i've said and add even more

love her

love her

love her

palliedavis.blogspot.com

Before I got married, one thing I really look forward to was having the same last name as Andrew. Yes, I was one of those girls that scribbled my hopeful future name as I doodled in class.

Pallie Davis Savoie

That was what I was expecting and what I was excited to see change. Then, it actually happened.

The first couple of months were fun until it began to really hit me what that name change meant.

For 23 years I was Pallie Elizabeth Davis. Nicknames for me relied on the fact that my last name was Davis like, ped or Miss Paaaaaallie Davis. My name was a big part of my identity. An identity that I enjoyed. And then, I couldn't be that person anymore.

People started introducing me as Pallie Savoie and I caught myself wondering who in the world they were talking about. "I'm Pallie Da...oh wait, that's right...now I'm Pallie Savoie. " People who didn't really know me called me Mrs. Savoie and I had to remind myself that was my name.

Part of me really misses Pallie Elizabeth Davis. I miss being directly attached to my family through my name. It almost feels like a dismissal of everything that made me who I am today. Like their last name wasn't good enough anymore and so I decided to take on the name of someone else. I miss only having to spell my first name for people. Now, whenever I tell someone my name, I have to spell out my first and last name (it may not seem like a pain to some people but trust me, its annoying).

Of course I fully understand that taking on Andrew's last name is about us starting our family together. It is about us having an common name together to build from. But I don't want my kids to forget that they have Davis family blood in them because they don't have the same last name. Maybe that sounds crazy and maybe that comes from the fact that I was always much closer to my Dad's side of the family than my Mom's but it is still something I think about.

People who I have met since May 30, 2009 and will meet from now on won't know that my last name was ever Davis. They won't have any link to my history and family through my name. I will forever be Pallie Savoie.

In some ways, I love that. I love that Andrew and I are building our own family and that our kids might have an attachment to their names because of us...Andrew and me. I love that Andrew is my husband and I get to declare that every time I sign my name or introduce myself.

In other ways, it hurts my heart a little. It hurts my heart that I can't declare my love for my family anymore when I sign my name or introduce myself. It hurts my heart that my kids, though they will share blood, won't share a name with my side of the family.

It is definitely a mixed bag. Whenever I hear anyone talking about changing their name after marriage, I encourage them to really think about. Make sure they are okay with it.

In reality, I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to follow tradition. I want our kids to have a Mom and Dad with the same last name.

But I still pay homage to my old identity in small ways. I sometimes sign my full name, Pallie Davis Savoie. Whenever I order something where they call your name for your order, I always use Davis. I also kept my blog name, palliedavis.blogspot.com. That's who I am at the core. I am Pallie Davis who married Andrew Savoie and decided to honor that marriage by taking on his last name. I am Pallie Davis Savoie.

A Savoie Christmas

I started out writing a blog about the Christmas spirit and how it disappears as we get older. Then, I stopped the blog writing to decorate our Christmas tree with Andrew and it was more from a sense of responsibility and tradition than desire.

As we were decorating the tree and listening to James Taylor, I started to remember why I love Christmas. The ornaments on the tree tell stories, though somewhat short, of Christmases past and remind me of what's important: family, friends, giving.

In 2007, Laurel, Searcy and I got our Christmas tree and made our own ornaments. This one was one of my favorites and so I got to keep it when I moved from Nashville. Yes...Laurel is Poppa Snowman, I am Momma Snowman and Searcy is kid Snowman.

Mrs. Francis gave me this ornament when I was younger. It was the only ornament on our family Christmas tree that was bought specially for me and I always made sure it was put in the center of the tree.

On our family tree, we always have sand dollars. The ones on our tree came from Sanibel Island and we got them when I was really young. When I had my own Christmas tree, I decided it wouldn't be right to have a tree without sand dollars. So, I bleached some sand dollars that we got from Cape San Blas and hung them with ribbons that came off one of our wedding presents.

This is another homemade ornament from our Nashville Christmas tree. You can get all the store-bought ornaments you want but your tree will not feel personal without homemade ornaments.

Our family friend Marisa made this glass ornament for us. It was our first ornament and it hands prominently in the front of our tree.

I got the center ornament with the "S" at the Savoie family Thanksgiving in Myrtle Beach in 2009. We hung the ornament and within minutes, Andrew had put both Santas beside the ornament. Curious, I asked why he hung the Santas together like that and he said that they are supposed to be us and when we have a kid, we can get a little kid ornament to hang with the Santas. Yes, I know this sounds corny but things like that made me fall in love with him.

The wreath that hangs on our front door was one I first put together when I was living with Laurel in Nashville. It changes with everyone season but putting it together at Christmas always puts a smile on my face. I love driving up to our home and seeing it on our front door.

These are just a few of the things in our house that remind me why I love Christmas. I hope everyone has at least one thing in their Christmas decorations that isn't about style and appearance but about memories and the reason we celebrate at this time of year.

All at Once

The past couple of weeks have been hard. Mentally draining. Physically tiring. Emotionally difficult. It never ceases to amaze me how when you go through something emotional it seems to be just as difficult on you physically and how the mind, body and soul are connected in so many ways.

Life seems to throw everything at you at once. When one thing is difficult, it seems like there is at least one other thing weighing on you. It is never just one thing.

Things are starting to look up and, just like the bad, it happened all at once. I don't think there is any coincidence that the weight was lifted when I started talking. Expressing what was on my mind and heart, saying what I wanted and needed to happen and praying the same thing over and over, "God, please help me to see what I'm supposed to do and who I'm supposed to be."

I am not a religious person. I believe that we should treat others as we want to be treated and that there is something bigger than us in this world. I believe that there are things in our lives that are beyond our control and when we hand over the control to that higher power and choose to believe that things will work out the way they should, great things will happen.

The prayer to help me see what I'm supposed to do and who I'm supposed to be came to me on a run one day. I hadn't been running in ages and I decided to go to a park close by. I took off running, the whole time talking to God which is odd for me. The run took me up some hills to a point where I could see for a long way. At that point, I stopped and looked around, appreciating the intense beauty around me and the prayer just came out of my mouth without any thought.

From that moment, that has been my prayer and really, isn't that what we are always asking for with every prayer? To know what we're supposed to do and who we're supposed to be is, I think, the core question we all want answered. That prayer keeps me focused on what is important.

Of course I pray for other things; strength for my family and friends in difficult times, thanks for the wonderful things in my life and understanding as to why things happen the way they do. But I always come back to the same prayer.

All at once, the world can overwhelm you. You can go from thinking everything is great to realizing that everything you know is wrong. Life can be terrible one day and then the next you can see that silver lining brighter than ever before.

So I'll just keep on praying for God to show me what I'm supposed to do and who I'm supposed to be. And you know, the funny thing is that I don't think I'll ever get an answer because I think what I'm supposed to do and who I'm supposed to be will keep changing. We will always be in search of those answers and the sooner we recognize that, the sooner we can let go of the illusion of control and the sooner we can enjoy life for what it is: a series of high and lows, questions and answers, tragedies and highlights. And sometimes those things happen all at once.

*Jack Johnson has a song called All at Once that really encompasses a lot of what I'm talking about in this post. For some reason, Blogger wouldn't let me post it but if you don't know the song and this post speaks to you in some way, I suggest looking it up.*

Gym or No Gym?

Confession: After completing p90x, Andrew and I went on to try the Insanity workout system and it truly made me never want to work out again. For the past 3 months, Andrew and I haven't been working out. Not at all. And while we both want to get back in shape, we don't know how to do it.

Isn't this something we all struggle with? Finding something that we enjoy that also gives us a workout is hard. Damn hard.

I think part of my issue is that I grew up playing soccer. I got all my exercise by running up and down the field and having a good time with my friends playing a sport that I loved. Now, everything else seems mundane, boring. Videos end up being the same thing over and over again. The elliptical and treadmill drive me crazy because you do all that and you get nowhere; you feel like you're moving but really you're staying in the same place looking at the ass or stomach of the girl in front of you wondering if you look that good (or bad, either one).

I tried other workout videos. Jillian Michaels (who is totally hard core and will kick your butt with a 20 minute workout), SHAPE fitness videos (which are easy and mindless but a pretty good workout, and I even pulled out good ole' Billy Blanks a time or two (and each time it totally reminded me why I quit doing it in the first place...breaks, Billy, we all need a break every now and then).

Nothing got either me going like p90x. My problem with p90x, though, is that it requires a lifestyle that I don't want to live. Yes, I got in killer shape and looked pretty damn good but I always felt constricted because of what I could and couldn't eat; when I didn't have time for anything other than work and working out; when I gave up time during visits with friends to workout because otherwise I felt like a slug. I became hypercritical of myself; wanting to lose that extra pound, getting anxious if I saw any fat where it shouldn't be, gaining muscle to a point that I didn't look very feminine anymore (or at least I thought so).

Andrew and I both want to live our life and be healthy doing it. I don't want to live the "healthy life" and miss out on other stuff. I don't want to feel bad because Sonic literally called my name between 2-4 pm one day and I end up getting a lemon-berry slush for 1/2 price. I don't want to battle with my desire to bake for myself and for others.

The only exercise I have ever really enjoyed outside of soccer is swimming. Not only is it a killer cardio workout but it is especially good for me because of my arthritis. No impact exercise=rest and rejuvenation for my joints which sometimes feel tortured and angry. The issues lies in the fact that I have to pay for and take on a gym membership for pool access and gyms and I don't get along so well.

So I am at an impasse. Do I pay for the gym membership to have access to a pool and exercise in a way I enjoy right down the street or do I push through with the videos which are free and easy to access at home with results I have seen first hand?

What do you do? Gym or no gym? Workout or no workout? Has anyone found a way to include exercise into their lives without forcing it and without having those months where you would rather doing anything else but exercise? I think this is something a lot of people, especially women, struggle with and I would love to hear what other people think.

Farewell Facebook

Goodness. I have not blogged in what seems like an eternity. My life has changed so much in the past couple of months and I honestly haven’t thought about blogging until a couple of weeks ago. After thinking it over, I decided that it was worth it to me to have this outlet even if no one reads it. So I’m back. My posting may not be often and it will probably only be my Mom, sisters and a few friends who read them but you will see in this post why I am more than okay with that.

I’ve done it. I’ve decided to leave facebook. Why this is such a big decision in the crazy world we live in today disturbs me beyond words.

This was a very conscious choice on my part because I am tired of having all these “friends” who I probably wouldn’t even say hello to if I saw them in the grocery store. Granted, there are a few people on facebook who I really enjoyed keeping with up; long-lost childhood friends, some of the girls on my old soccer team and those people who I remember from elementary school that moved away and I never really heard from again. For those people, facebook is worth it. Or is it?

If these people who I just referred to were THAT important to me, shouldn’t I do my best to keep in touch with them without the craziness that we call facebook? Let's just think about all the birthday comments. My birthday was 2 months ago and I probably received forty messages wishing me a happy birthday. While I appreciate the sentiment, I simply do not have 40 people that I truly consider friends. I participated in the very impersonal message sending to people when their birthday came along. The problem was that it was just so stinkin’ easy! I often wrote a simple message instead of calling or sending a card to my friends and that was not how my Momma raised me.

Yes, it was fun to find an old family friend or see that someone moved back to the area. Yes, it was a very convenient way to keep tabs on what your old (and new) friends are up to. And yes, there were enjoyable times when I wiled away hours looking at random people’s pictures and learning way too much about their lives.

But I kept wondering whether this outlet was helping me develop and nurture relationships with people I truly care about. The answer, my dear blog friends, was “absolutely not.” When I think about the people I kept up with on facebook, it became apparent that I had formed these “relationships” with people that have no basis in reality. I might not have spoken to them in ages but I knew that their kid had a Toy Story themed birthday party. Why did I care?

Then, one day after Andrew cancelled his facebook account and my friend at work did the same I acknowledged that my activities on facebook were not enhancing my life in anyway. I don’t have a better relationship with my husband, siblings, parents or closest friends because of facebook. Those relationships were developed over time and with a lot of effort. Facebook had become a way for me to communicate with people without really having to try. I don’t need to have their phone numbers or even their email addresses because I could just message them on facebook. What I have realized is that I was on facebook so that I could feel like I was a part of other people’s lives. I looked at their pictures, read their status updates and sent the obligatory birthday message without really knowing them.

The day after I deactivated my account, my decision was solidified when a friend of ours sent me an email saying, “since you aren’t on facebook, you probably don’t know that we got engaged!” At that moment I realized that I was important enough to her to receive a message instead of just seeing the relationship update from “in a relationship” to “engaged.” That is what I want. I don’t want to know that so-and-so is getting married just because she is my “friend” on facebook. If someone means a great deal to me and I am important to that person as well, then we will make the effort to keep in touch and be in each other’s lives through more personal means of contact.

So my decision came down to the simple fact that I want to nurture relationships with people who I really care about instead of relying on facebook to keep me in touch with those who have no significant impact on my life.

just what you need when you need it

It just so happens that I am one of those people that believes things come into your life at certain moments for a reason.

TV shows will hit home in a way that is unexpected but needed on a Wednesday afternoon. Like when Oprah ran the show about the Girl Effect right before the Christmas season when my family gets together to bring to light issues that affect us and donate to a worthy cause in lieu of presents.

A song will come on the radio bringing to the forefront of your mind things that are going on in your own or another's life, bringing new perspective. Like when I was driving to see Andrew after just moving to Nashville and Tim McGraw's "Fly Away" came on the radio. It reminded me of Laurel and the very difficult decision she had just made to quit her successful job. I called to help her see the positive and to be thankful for her new set of wings.

You will read an amalgamation of books that end up tying together to bring you a message that the universe has been trying to send...

I know many of you will probably give me a hard time about these next few sentences, but here I go anyway.
A couple of months ago, a friend of mine convinced me to read the Twilight saga and I became hooked. Hooked in a way that can be unhealthy. I read all 4 books (some with over 600 pages) in 6 days. I slept, ate, worked and read Twilight. For 6 days straight. It was amazing. I lost myself in Forks, Washington, in the characters and the story.
If you haven't already totally lost faith in me for reading these books, please stick with me.

These books did something amazing for me. They brought me out of my TV watching haze and into a world of books and reading and thinking and imagination. After reading the series once, I couldn't bring myself to read any other books. So I read the series again. After my 2nd read through, I decided to move on (as much as possible).

After having stumbled upon a Scholastic book fair while babysitting and leaving with seven books, I delved into my new-found treasures head first. I read Girl with the Dragon Tattoo that my Momma sent me and some others as well, taking me to places that TV couldn't touch. Places in my mind that I hadn't delved into. My imagination was able to take off with new characters and places to create in my mind.

My world has opened up so much wider than it was. I no longer come home and turn on the TV for background noise because, instead, I open a book to take me to a new place.

While on vacation this past week, I read three books, chosen at random from a collection of books that ended up tying together so intensely that I have no choice but to take the message I have been given and run with it!

I started out reading The Girls from Ames about a group of 11 women in their 40s who have been friends since childhood. The book was meant to highlight the wonderful impact of female friendships on the lives of those taking part in them. True Colors followed which centered upon the connection between three sisters throughout trials, grief and loss over many years. And lastly, I just finished Firefly Lane that follows two pre-teen girls' friendship through high school, college, careers, marriage and children; exploring the importance of each to the other.

Somehow I know that I read these books together for a reason. These books were meant to remind me to work on my relationships with other women. Throughout my life, friends have always been a part of my surroundings. I wrote a while back about the difficulty of making friends in a new place where they weren't already "built in." As a happily married woman who loves her husband to the depths of the earth and back, I readily admit that I need friends. Friends make me a better woman, wife and person. The biggest issue has always been depth with me and my girlfriends. We've loved and supported each other but never really delved into each other as women, friends, students, professionals, girlfriends, wives or future mothers. The deep connection has evaded me with other women. We've been friends because of circumstance and now we're taking that friendship into the real world and figuring out how that all works. My move to Atlanta soon will be moving me closer to these girlfriends and I know the message from these books came at the right time.

So if you have followed my crazy, twisting post to the end, I want to leave you with the message to keep your eyes open for things that come into your life. Some people, events and things will be inconsequential to your development as a person but there are also those times when we need to step back, acknowledge what has come to us and grow from it. They will always be just what you need when you need it.

He Did It!

Andrew got into medical school!

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that we have been in a holding pattern for 2 years. He applied last year and got wait-listed at MCG. This year, he applied again and got wait-listed at MCG but got accepted to the Georgia campus for the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine (PCOM).

You might be wondering what Osteopathic Medicine is, so I will explain it a bit. As an osteopathic doctor (D.O.), Andrew will practice medicine just like an M.D. but instead of solely focusing on the symptoms presented to him, he will be trained to treat the entire person instead of just their symptoms. For instance, if you are having issues with your kidneys, he would not only treat those symptoms but also try to figure out what is causing the kidney issues and fix that as well.

He is really excited about getting in and learning to be a D.O. I cannot even begin to explain the relief that is palpable in our home. You can cut the happiness with a knife (so to speak). Andrew is lighter and happier than I have seen him since our wedding. When I talked to him on phone and he told me of his acceptance, he voice sounded different. It sounded like he used to have a ton of bricks on his shoulders and they were suddenly gone.

Georgia PCOM is north of Atlanta and we are planning on moving in July. As of right now, I am looking for a job which is already going a lot better than the job search ever went in Augusta. So, now that the weight is off of his shoulders, part of his has been transferred to mine since I am going to be the bread winner *gulp* and really have to find a job that can help support us.

We are moving forward and excited about what the future holds for us: we will be closer to friends and family, Andrew will be in medical school, I will have a job (hopefully) and we will expand our family. Thank you for your support throughout the years and we will definitely be calling in your support over the next 4!

Life

Life caught up with me this past month. I have gotten busier at work, big decisions are coming down and life is speeding by.

-Andrew's 25th birthday was on the 25th of March and I decided to give him 25 things he loves/wants between March 1 and March 25th. It was great fun and I loved every second of it. Gifts ranged from a bag of gummy bears to a surprise Thrashers game on his birthday. The grand finale was a surprise birthday party for him and our friend Andy at a friend's barn. I loved being able to surprise him and show him some love throughout the entire month. Goodness I love that man.

-For one week in March, I left the presents and my darling husband behind to head to Nashville. The family I used to babysit for (my adopted family) was in need of some support and I couldn't have been anywhere else but in that city. So, I took a week off from work, drove to Nashville and stayed with my lovely sister in my old house as I went on a journey with my family. We found out interesting, helpful, heartbreaking and yet relieving news after a stressful week in Vanderbilt's AMAZING Children's Hospital. My love for the B Family runs deep.

-I finally got to go home and see my Momma, Papa Bear and Bubby after being away for over a month. Normally, I am able to make it home once a month to get my fill of the good stuff but March proved to be too much. This past weekend, Andrew and I got in the car and went home. We spent time with my parents, brother and extended family throughout the amazing weekend. In actuality, the reason we went home is because my Momma missed Andrew and if he hadn't been with me, I might have been turned away.

-Andrew and I will be on pins and needles over the next three weeks because he will learn whether or not he has been accepted into medical school. He has already been wait-listed at MCG and we are waiting to hear from Georgia PCOM in Suwanee, Georgia. He really likes this school and loves the Doctor of Osteopathy philosophy for practicing medicine. (A Doctor of Osteopathy, or D.O., is certified to practice medicine just like an M.D. but with a philosophy that you should treat the patient as a whole instead of merely treating the symptoms being presented to you at the moment.) We probably won't hear anything this week but starting next Monday, the mail will be checked religiously and he will constantly be logged in to his email account. Please cross your fingers for us and be thinking of Andrew. The waiting is heavy on both our shoulders but especially weighty for him.

-Throughout this past (almost) year of marriage, I have learned a great deal about my husband, our relationship and myself. The universe has done its best to remind me that I am not in control and to believe that whatever happens will be best for me, us and our future. It is amazing how you can worry about something so much and then, when you finally let it go, it all comes to fruition. That might not make sense to some of you reading this, but it is amazingly clear to me. Each day I am beginning to understand more and more that if you try to plan your life, you will be setting yourself up for disappointment. The only thing we can really plan in life is to be surprised!

Yummy Macaroons

One of our favorite desserts around here are macaroons. If you are reading this thinking, "great, I hate coconut," keep reading! My coconut hating sister LOVES these!

These macaroons have been a part of many occasions, even making an appearance at our election night watch party with Mom as blue "obamaroons."

Just try these. I promise you won't be disappointed. They are very easy and very very delicious. These are not the cookie-like macaroons that a lot of people know...they are even better!
*This recipe is from the Joy of Cooking cookbook.

2/3 c sweetened condensed milk (reduced-fat is still yummy)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1/8 tsp. salt
1 egg white
3 1/2 c sweetened, flaked coconut (unsweetened works, too)

-Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
-Combine the first three ingredients.
-Add in coconut and stir until all coconut is covered evenly with the sweetened condensed milk mixture.
-Drop by the tablespoonful onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper (or greased).
-Bake 20-24 minutes or until golden brown.
-Let cool on pan for a bit before transferring to wire rack.

Eat up!

Spicy Sausage and Rice

If you are coming to the blog and wondering why you are seeing a recipe here, read the post below called "New Direction" and it will all make sense.

As you may have noticed in previous posts, Andrew and I are trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle by exercising regularly and eating well. Every now and then, you have to step a little outside of it all and eat something really delicious without worrying about the calories...enter the spicy sausage and rice dish. While this dish is not terrible on the caloric front, the sausage adds a few calories but a lot of deliciousness to the dish.

This recipe makes approximately 6 servings

16 oz. ground spicy pork sausage
1/2 onion, diced
1/2 bell pepper, diced
1 pkg. mushrooms, diced
3 cloves garlic, diced
1 can original Rotel, undrained
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup rice
cayenne pepper
salt
pepper

-In a very large skillet, brown the sausage and let the fat cook off.
-Add the onion, bell pepper and garlic to the sausage. Cook until the onion is clear. Season the meat and veggies with cayenne pepper, salt and pepper to taste.
-Add in mushrooms, Rotel, chicken broth and rice. If the 1 cup of chicken broth does not cover the ingredients, add water or more broth until it does.
-Let everything cook, uncovered, over medium-high heat until rice is done and liquid is absorbed. It is helpful to stir everything around a few times to make sure that all of the rice is cooked.

Feel free to change it up anyway you see fit. Add more or less onions and peppers or even leave out the cayenne pepper if you don't want the extra kick. I promise the spicy sausage is worth the little bite because it adds a lot of flavor to the dish.

Enjoy and please let me know how it goes if you try it!

new direction

It has been over a month since my last post and I feel really bad about that. But, you see, the thing is that I don't have anything to talk about. I'm guessing that the few of you who read the blog are tired of hearing about my wonderfully amazing husband. Aside from him, there is nothing to report on the medical school or job front, no bun in the oven to gush over and nothing running around my brain to talk about.

So, I've come to a juncture on this blog and I've decided to take it in a slightly different direction. I am going to combine two of my loves, blogging and cooking/baking, by posting some recipes that are tried and true and others that are new (to me at least). Pictures might come along with some of the recipes but that probably won't happen too terribly often...just keepin' it real.

This is not a venture to become a bigger and better blog. This is not me trying to be like the Pioneer Woman (though there are worse things that could happen) or anything along those lines. This is about me combining my blog with the things that happen in my daily life. I work at the canal, babysit, keep our home clean and comfy and make sure our bellies are full with good, mostly nutritious, food. Since I'm sure that you aren't interested in my daily work life or the amount of Pledge wipes I use in a week, this was the natural way to go.

I fear that if I don't start down this new road, my blogging will fade away and it won't be there for the times that I do have a lot to say. So, my hope is that you will enjoy some of these recipes and report back to me on how they went if you try them. Once I run out of my old stand-bys, I hope this will push me to try new things in the kitchen. I thoroughly enjoy blogging, cooking and baking and I'm excited about where this might take me.

mawage

Before May 30, 2009, I had dated and been engaged to Andrew for a little over 7 years. Much of our relationship had been long distance but we made it through the hardships with communication and a whole 'lotta love. Walking down the aisle, I knew that I walking toward my best friend; someone who would treat me well, take care of me when I was sick, laugh with me and love and support me and our kids with every fiber of his being. Standing at the gate, waiting to walk down the aisle, the only people I could see were Andrew and Preacher Rick. This hadn't been planned, but it was an amazing unplanned moment. Looking at him, I had no doubt in my mind that we were doing the right thing.

After May 30, 2009, I wonder what in the hell I was thinking! We were truly taking a leap of faith that our years together and love for each other would be enough to take us through the rest of our life together. I have realized that I didn't know nearly as much about Andrew as I thought. I didn't truly know what he was like to live with. I didn't have the level of intimacy I should with him. We hadn't thoroughly explored our relationship and the different paths we could go down together and/or separately.

In the past 8 months of marriage, I have learned more about Andrew than I ever imagined possible. In the past 8 months of marriage, I have grown to love my husband in a way that I can only wish others could experience. In the past 8 months of marriage, there has never been a doubt in my mind that I did the right thing marrying the man I sleep next to every night. When I see all the ways in which our relationship and love has grown over this time being married, I realize that the leap we took on our wedding day was a lot scarier than I imagined and paid off more than anything else in my life.

I keep wondering if I love and feel this close to him today, how in the world was the love I had for him on our wedding day enough to let me know he was the man I wanted to marry? Even when I thought I knew everything about him and that there wasn't anything else to learn about him or our relationship, I didn't know anything! The amazing thing is that our shared values, love and relationship really was enough for us to step into this lifelong journey together even though it feels like nothing compared to what we have today!

A couple of months before we got married, Laurel and I went to a shoe store for her to finally get the running shoes she needed. While she was being fitted, we started talking to the guy who was doing her fitting and I told him I was getting married. Instead of being the typical guy who says "don't do it" or just says "congratulations" without much feeling, this guy told me how I would love being married and that there was nothing better in the world than going home to your best friend. At the time, I was shocked at his statement because it was so out of the norm. I heard him and responded with something like "Yeah, I'm really excited!" thinking that I knew exactly what he felt for his wife and that it wouldn't be anything new for us. Gah-lee was I wrong. I now really know what he meant because it truly is the best thing in the world to come home to your best friend.

Andrew is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I love that his first priority is our relationship and that what he wants most in this world is to be a good person, husband and father (someday). More important than having an M.D. at the end of his name is having a roof over our heads, shoes on our feet and happiness in our home. Yes, there are some things that annoy me about him (like how easily he gets angry at traffic when there is nothing he can do about it) and there are parts of our relationship that we continue to work on. But these things are so minor compared to the amazing time we are having getting to know each other better, watching "The Office" and laughing together, looking forward to our future and working with what we have in the present.

We are still newlyweds, I get that. I get that this rapid growth of my love and admiration for him will probably slow down at some point ( I hope not). I get that it will change drastically when children become part of the equation. Right now, I am savoring these feelings because, as I sit writing this post, I keep looking at the clock, waiting for him to get off work and walk through that door so I can give him a big ole' kiss and hug. So far, mawage is pretty damn great!

life and my big brother

I have always loved my brother. I haven't always liked my brother (like when he was aiming throwing stars my way). But I have ALWAYS loved my brother.

Our relationship has changed over time. When I was younger, I adored him and wanted to be just like him. As I grew up, I became his partner in crime in a lot of cases. While he was in college and a few years afterward, I didn't really know him that well. As I got to know him again, I realized I was always watching what I said and did because I didn't want him to think I'm stupid. Now, I find myself going to him with questions about life and living and hanging on to every word.

There are many things I admire about my brother and we've had a lot of great conversations, but he said something to me the other night that moved him up in my book and has really had me thinking.

Josh and I were sitting in the playroom one night, talking about jobs and life; discussing how crappy 9-5 jobs are, how it is difficult to find something you love to do that can provide a comfortable lifestyle and the pressure to have a job that has to do with your degree(s). As I have talked about in previous posts, I am having some difficulty deciding what I want to do in the career field. I want to do something I enjoy but I'm not sure that it has anything to do with my degrees. As Josh and I were talking about this, he said something that has been on my mind everyday since; he told me that his Philosophy degree and education weren't about preparing him for a job but teaching him how he wants to live. At that moment, I felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted off my shoulders, a light bulb came on in my head and my heart was a little lighter. That was it.

I have spent a great deal of time thinking about how ridiculous it is that I have a Bachelor's Degree is Spanish that I'm not using and a Master's Degree in Community Development Action that had NOTHING to do with my life right now. There have been times when I have felt like I was failing myself, my parents and Andrew for not utilizing the degrees I spent so much time on. But that was all gone with Josh's words. It all made sense. Those degrees weren't about what I want to do with my life, they were about how I want to live.

My Spanish degree taught me a lot about different cultures and took me to two different countries. I chose my master's program for a lot of reasons outside of the program itself but the program was appealing because it was about being active in the community, aware of the way others are living around me and knowledgeable of how to work with and advocate for many different populations. I don't necessarily want to work in a place that requires me to speak Spanish (not sure how good I am anymore anyway) and I have seen so many people get burned out in their nonprofit and teaching careers, I question going in those directions for my career. My degrees haven't gotten me a job but they have taught me about the kind of person I want to be: culturally competent, socially aware and open to loving and learning from all different kinds of people.

In that same conversation, Josh said not to let other people's ideas about success dictate what I do with my life. He will be 30 this year, has recently moved home and is without employment. Instead of worrying about how other people define success and what is expected of someone in life, he is taking the best out of it all. He is farming, which he loves. He is working with wood and getting really good at it! He is playing music all the time; learning new instruments and continually improving those that the started with. Instead of focusing on the negative and society's expectations, he is seeing the positive in it all and appreciating the opportunity he has to grow and learn without the pressure of bringing in a paycheck.

Josh made me realize that I don't have to have a full-time job bringing in the dough to be successful but that I might also sometimes have to take a job that isn't a dream to get through. Instead of focusing on the job I have, or don't have, and whether it utilizes my degrees, or not, I should focus on living the life I want to live. And the life I want to live is not dictated by what I do to make a living.

My job search will continue but the stress level has decreased some. There is still the need to have a full-time job but I am a lot less worried about what it is. Instead of only looking for jobs in non-profits and education, I am open to other areas. Rather than trying to find something that will utilize my degree, I am hoping for something that will be interesting and pay the bills.

I owe a lot to my big brother and most recently I owe this realization and sense of relief to him. Even though we were just having a regular conversation, he taught me a great deal in those 10 minutes. I still worry about finding a job but all the craziness that went with that worry has decreased substantially.

So, even though he is becoming a better lumberjack, farmer, musician and philosopher, I think the one role he performs best, is big brother.

NOLA

I spent this past long weekend with 17 amazing, fun and inspiring women doing different service projects in New Orleans. My eyes were opened to what has transpired in New Orleans and what is going on now. Upon leaving, I was saddened, inspired, tired and excited all at the same time.

It would take multiple, very long posts to thoroughly explain everything that happened and even then, I couldn't do it justice. Laurel did a great job blogging about everything as it was happening on our official blog that was continued from our trip to the inauguration last year. There are recaps of our service projects and reflections from some of the women that are pretty amazing to read through.

New Orleans has come a long way but it still has a very, very long way to go.

she beat me to it

I had fully planned on writing a post about the upcoming long weekend but Laurel beat me to it. After I read hers, there was no way I could add anything to it...perfect! Cannot wait to head down to New Orleans with 18 amazing women. Recap of the weekend to come!

old favorites

I was moving all of my online photos from random accounts to my Snapfish account and found some oldies but goodies...thought I'd share for laughs and good memories.

This was the last time we were all at the beach together. I'm not sure why we were posing like this but I'm sure we were having fun!
Andrew and I were in Chattanooga and he thought it would be funny to look normal in a "crazy" picture.
The ASB ladies went to Chicago for the Idealist conference. We decided to do some ANTM poses for Amulya on the streets of Chicago.
Lauren, being the wonderful friend she is, threw me a half-birthday party since my birthday is in the summer and my friends are always away.
Not that you need it but here is proof that Andrew and I have been together for 1/3 of our lives.
On a trip to Kentucky, I got to see little Pallie and Piper Ann at Shannon's school. It was great to see them but the visits are never long enough!
On that same trip, we went to see a friend of mine play football against UK. This picture is classic with Laurel posing and Josh wondering how he came from the same parents.
At Loser's, Laurel and Sarah ALWAYS dance to 3am. When I randomly hear this song, they are the first people I think of.
For Mother's Day one year, we all got I <3 Mom shirts. Even though we all look rough, I had to post this picture for posterity.

When my parents and I got back from Oaxaca, we had a welcome home party. Laurel and I had a lot of fun that night and she made her own yamaka out of a styrofoam bowl.
When Dad ran for the State House of Representatives, I drove the truck in a parade while Mom waved at the crowd and Dad campaigned.
It snowed in Nashville and we decided to sit outside and watch it come down. That is one night I will never forget.
Lauren, Josh, Sarah, Jonathan, Sarah Davis, Andrew and I all met up in Athens one weekend and went to the Terrapin brewery.
For some reason, Laurel and I climbed into the enormous boxwood in our front yard. This picture came out of the experience.
Last, but not least, this is a picture of our beloved White Dog. He protected our house for a long time and Andrew and my Dad and my Mom and Laurel and Josh and Whitney and I still miss him.
I hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane as much as I did!

my husband, the storyteller

Some of you who read this blog know Andrew really well. You know that he believes one of the best things that can come out of any situation is a good story. He has had an interesting last couple of days and put it into an email to his co-workers that I thought some of you might enjoy.

Andrew's story:

Hello ladies,
As most (all?) of you know, I've been planning on taking a course at Augusta State this spring-- the Biology of Cancer. I'm taking it in hopes of strengthening my med school app, but I also enjoyed taking class while at Georgia so this is also something I've been wanting to do. Everyone's been pretty interested in having me keep them up to date with what's going on, so I thought I would share today's story.

Last fall when I decided to take the class, I found out we (TAP people) can't register for classes like normal students; rather, we'd have to wait until the first day of class (drop/add) to sign up, and we'd have to be there in person instead of register online. After regular registration last november, the class stood at 25/28 possible students, so I was safe. Three spots open, and only a "late" registration period this week on Monday-Tuesday to worry about before getting my class.

As luck would have it, the class filled to maximum capacity on Monday. I ended up calling people at ASU on Monday for a couple of reasons: to find out where I needed to go to register, and also what I could do about wanting a full class. After finally getting all the info, I had my plan: to be there early (10min before is good, right?), and also to send a friendly email to the class professor asking if an exception could be made for a post-bacc student.

Now, I'm not one to step on toes (usually), and I feel like I get along with just about anyone, but word has it that a certain professor is... difficult to deal with. I call the science office to find out the prof's office hours hoping to meet her and talk about it, but at the beginning of the semester she doesn't actually have any. To complicate things, she was out of town yesterday and unable to meet/take phone calls, and even now I haven't heard anything from her. The absolute last situation I wanted to be in was as an unknown student, contacting a strict professor via email asking her for a favor before the class has even started. Oh life and its sour lemons...

So I sent the email. It explained my situation, med school app, working at MCG, etc. I was assured by the biology office's secretary that she would be checking her email while out of the office, but I have yet to get a response. I got up this morning, drove to ASU (where I realized I'd have to park in a lot that requires a parking pass, "this again!?"), went to the registration room, was told the class is full, and decided to go to the prof's office. Sure enough, she's not there. So I returned to my lab and brought up the course listing page, hoping that by some miracle a spot would open in the class and I would see it in time to snatch it up.

My miracle came. I refreshed the page to make sure it wasn't a mirage, and the 2 spots were still open. I ran out the door, gave a hasty explanation to whomever was in Robin's office (I only actually saw Pam in my tunnel vision), sprinted to my car, and got to the school. I parked (illegally, again) and rushed inside to find another line snaking out of the room. Waiting there I was actually quite amused by a hefty Tongan-looking fellow behind me, who apparently thought the world was gonna end because there were only 2 ladies inside performing the drop/adds and he had a math class to get to at 12p. Ah, those were easier times... (says the newlywed guy without kids :P)

Finally, my turn arrived. I handed over my sheet with an air of triumph, thinking "surely the 2 spots hadn't been filled yet."

"I'm unable to register you for this class."
".... Umm.... What."
"It says you don't have the prereqs for it."
".... Umm.... What are the prereqs?"
"Biology 1107, and 1108."

I think I actually laughed out loud when she said that.

"Oh, actually I'm registering as post-bacc--I received my bachelor's in Cell Biology from Georgia, and I took those classes a long time ago."
"I'm sorry, you'll have to talk to the Biology Office to get them to clear it, I can't do anything to help."
"Drat! Are the 2 spots still open?"
"... Yes, they're still open."

So I pick up a nearby phone and call the office. I explain the situation to the secretary, give her my info, and she asks me to hold. 5:24 later, she picks back up and apologizes for the wait, but the guy she needs to talk to is just outside in the hall and should be able to speak with her in a minute, so she places me back on hold. Around 10:47 into the call, she picks back up and I can hear the man in the background clearly as he speaks to her. She tells him the story:

Man: "We can't clear him if he hasn't taken the classes."
Me: "I took them. I have a B.S. in cell bio from Georgia."
She repeats it.
Man: "Oh. Ok. Hrmm, it looks like the class is full."

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

"But I just saw 2 open spots on the computer not even 30 minutes ago!"
"Well, we'll clear the restriction for him, but that's all we can do."

I hang up the receiver and walk back to the lady. There's no longer a line, by the way, it's now just me in the room. Funny how that works.

So I hand her my sheet, this time with an air of sadness. In the span of an 11-minute phone call, my chance to get into the class had disappeared into oblivion, and I am again at the mercy of the professor. She does her registering-thing on the computer, and it's not looking good. I may have even heard her mutter a "nope" or a "nuts" or something like that while looking at the screen. Then she looks up at me, and for an instant I know I'm doomed.

Then she smiles and says "All set!" Still contemplating my failure at getting into the class, I first think she's mocking me in some bizarre, "ASU-in-your-face!" kind of way, but then a wave of calm hit me and I realized I was in. Pressure is off! Oh happy day! I happily take my shiny new class printout, thank Heaven for my good fortune and sour lemons, and walk out of the room and into the hallway--

--where I remember I'm illegally parked, and sprint back to my car.

So, now that you've read my essay of a story (sorry so long!), I'm happy to report that on Tuesdays and Thursdays from now until May sometime, I will be attending class from 0830-0945 before hitting the lab. Pam has been incredibly understanding and helpful with this whole process, and I can't thank her enough for allowing me to keep my goals on the front burner (and really, everyone has been super supportive, thank you!). In the event something must be done and I am in class, I will make sure the day or week beforehand that everyone involved knows what to do. The good news is, most of the things I am responsible for can sit on a counter for a short while without worry, so overall I don't expect to have any issues. Thanks for reading!

Labrat