take a moment

I logged onto my homepage today to find this picture and it touched me deeper that many others I've seen.  I wonder what this man was thinking, what he went through and what he continues to go through. 

One thing we know is that war does not end for these soldiers when they leave the battlefield:

Flashbacks affect soldiers regularly. My Dad still stops when he hears the sounds of a helicopter flying overhead.

Soldiers can be affected so deeply by war, they are never the same. How can you forget the feeling of a gun being pointed at you or you pointing a gun at someone else?

Thousands of soldiers come home minus a limb and have to deal with physical therapy and life as an amputee. 

Each Veteran's Day and Memorial Day I take a moment to say a little prayer of thanks for soldiers who gave their lives to protect our freedoms, those who put their lives on hold to fight for our country, soldiers who are fighting in an unnecessary war in Iraq today and the families of the men and women in our armed forces.  

Take a moment to thank our soldiers and veterans. I know that my life would not be the same without the sacrifices these individuals made and they have my utmost respect.

Dad, you were right all along...

It is rare that any of the Davis women utter the words in the title of this blog. When we do, my Dad seems shocked to hear the words come out of our mouths.

Ever since I was little, I remember my Dad groaning when he would see us watching television. Every summer, he made sure that we had something to do whether it was picking up rocks for a chimney, rounding up cows or going off to summer camp. He always explained to us the necessity doing something productive with our time. "What are you going to do?" he would ask us. If we didn't have anything to do, he would find something and if we did, he would say "Good...no reason to just lay around when you can be productive."

This always annoyed me when I was younger. What did he know? He was just a work-a-holic and I needed that time to veg out in front of the television after a long week of school, soccer practice and everything else. Now, I'm beginning to see the error of my ways. As I get older, I HATE being idle. Even if I'm not doing anything, I'm always thinking about what is coming up next, what I need to do and when I need to do it. I find myself formulating a plan to make sure that I have something productive to do.

The past month has been glorious and difficult at the same time. I have had time to relax after a stressful school year. May weekdays have consisted of a 20 hour work week and babysitting. No classes, no homework, no papers and no reading. How wonderful...or so I thought. After one week I was bored out of my mind. I kept thinking, "Dad would be so upset with me if he knew I wasn't doing anything right now." "I'm not being productive, what can I do? "

I think his reasoning behind trying to keep us busy was less from his work-a-holic identity and more from the idea that idle hands do the devil's work. Nothing good comes from doing nothing. I must clarify by saying that I believe it is never a bad idea to take a trip to the beach or hang out with your friends. These breaks are completely necessary to maintain sanity. But in the day to day goings on, I cannot imagine just doing nothing. Because of my Dad, I always have to do something productive whether it is having most of my wedding planned 1 year ahead of time, working a full time internship while also making commitments to volunteer this summer or spending quality time with my friends and family.

So, after giving a tribute to my wonderful mother, I realized I could not do that without giving a little bit of insight into how my father has also molded me into the person I am. The lesson I have talked about here is one in a million he has taught me.

He taught me the necessity of getting your hands dirty to bring yourself back down to earth. (I don't remember the first time I rode a tractor because I think he had me on one the moment I could walk!)

He taught me how important it is to maintain close relationships with your siblings, they are the only people who truly know you inside and out; from the mischief you created as a kid to the things that make you tick as an adult.

He taught me the importance of treating every human being with respect and dignity and helping people in need. He is one of the most giving people I know and he never expects accolades or anything in return.

My Dad has taught me more than I ever give him credit for. As I sit here with tears in my eyes, I am realizing that though my Dad never really said "I love you" he always told me in the lessons he taught. He told me he loved me when he made me work on the farm. He told me he loved me when he made sure that our babysitter Lela got a new house after her old one burned. And he told me he loved me when he ran for State House of Representatives again after previous disappointment because he knew he could truly make a difference for the people in our area. In all honesty, I don't know that I would have had it any other way, showing your love is so much more important than saying it.

He definitely showed it.

BEWARE of CitiCards

So, this post is unlike others I have written. This is my public service announcement to my friends letting them know about the dangers of utilizing services from CitiCards bank and credit card company. 

For my 4 years of college, I had a credit card with CitiCards and everything was great. When you are giving them money, this is a great company. But on July 31, 2007, my credit card number was stolen and all hell broke loose. At first the service representatives were very helpful and it took until December to settle all the fraudulent charges. 

It was at this point in my relationship with CitiCards that things turned sour. I began receiving phone calls (at least 2 a day) from a collections agency telling me that I owed them money. At this point, I began requesting proof of the charges I had not paid and said I would be happy to pay anything I owed them because when I paid the amount of my charges, it was quite confusing and I might have missed something. Instead of offering me statements or any proof of what I owed them, they continued to call, send me to multiple parts of the company...from the US, to India and back. 

After finally speaking with one very helpful representative in February, I began requesting statements. It took until the beginning of May (3 months later) that I finally received the necessary statements. When I finally looked at the statements I needed, I realized I had overlooked $78.07 in charges which had become $266.36!

All of this harassment, throwing me around between departments and stress was for $78.07...are you kidding me? And to cap it all off, when I requested that the late fees on the amount from February to the present be taken off because the lapse in time had been their fault, not mine, they told me they had no record of my request for statements until the month of April. 

I am sure you are not interested in the details but I wanted to write this post to let you all know to beware of CitiCards. If you have a card, I would recommend canceling and utilizing another company before you are another one of millions who is a victim of identity theft and they pull you through the ringer. When you see commercials or receive one of those pre-approved credit cards, run away, run away as fast and as far as you can!

My most important piece of advice from all of this is one I wish I had when this process began...document everything! If you speak to someone on the phone, ask for the representatives name and write down the day, time, person you spoke with and the request made. It is even better if you have written proof of the request through letter or email. If you receive something in the mail, keep the envelope to show the date it was postmarked. Keep everything! Document everything! I made a $190 mistake and I am so glad it wasn't more costly. I want to make sure that you don't make the same mistake that might end up costing a lot more time, stress and money! 

excitement contained.

So after getting myself worked up about the possibility of Andrew moving here it ends up that he isn't. The next year will be spent like all those before...apart. 

What does this mean for us? It means that we will continue with the relationship as we always have: missing each other every day and waiting for the day we can wake up next to each other and not have to worry about when we have to be apart again. How do we feel about it? Both of us are pretty bummed but understand that it is the smartest decision that will create a stable foundation for us to build our marriage upon.

The best way to describe the decision we have come to is that it is a decision of the head that doesn't break the heart too much. We've done this for 4 years, what's 1 more when we have the rest of our lives to spend together? This year will fly by, hopefully, with school, planning a wedding and learning about where we will be for the next part of our lives. Before we know it, we will be under the trees at the farm, saying "I do" and beginning the best part of our lives together.

Even though I know all of this, why am I still hurting inside? Maybe because I let myself get my hopes up or maybe because I know what it feels like to miss someone everyday and I am not looking forward to another year of it. 

Regardless, the decision is made and in all truth, I am at peace with it. My mom said it best; our relationship is strong because we have had to deal with distance. We have been able to grow individually and become our own person without compromising ourselves for each other or our relationship. Amazingly, through all the changes, we still love each other and want to continue through life together. 

There is this quote that I found a while back that describes our relationship perfectly. 

As we grow older together, 

As we continue to change with age,

There is one thing that will never change...

I will always keep falling in love with you. 

(Karen Clodfelder)

While the excitement about being together sooner than imagined is contained, our enthusiasm about spending the rest of our lives together and being able to build a successful marriage off the foundation we are building continues to grow. Can't wait to see what the next year brings.

MOM. WOW.

Did you ever notice that MOM upside down spells WOW? I'm sure many of you have heard that before but it is especially obvious today. 

Moms truly are amazing! First, they carry us for 9 months and then go through hours of labor to bring us into the world. Then, after they spend every waking moment making sure that we grow up to be stellar adults, at about the age of 13 we make sure they know how much they annoy us and how we never want to be like them. Finally, as we grow older we realize how much crap we put them through and begin to appreciate the sacrifices they made for us. At this point, your Mom becomes a friend and you start to see that she has so much more to offer than you ever imagined. Who knew that your Mom was a groupie for Haul and Oats or that she used to sell her blood platelets to go bet on the horses at the race track?

Luckily, I was blessed with an fabulous Mom who put up with my terrible 2s when I yelled at the preacher during church, drove me to soccer 30 minutes away, 4 times a week for 12 years, continued to love me when nobody else could stand me as a teenager and supported me in my decisions for college, majors and all those other life-changing decisions we make. She is more than I ever deserved and the most amazing part is that she did this without someone from whom to mirror her actions. My grandmother died when my mom was very young and her amazing mothering abilities were all of her own doing and desire. 

Everyday, I am more grateful to have a Mom who supports me fully and wants only the best for me. I truly believe that one of the best things my Mom (and Dad) did was to treat each one of the 4 kids as an individual and encourage our full growth and development. I was not expected to do the things my siblings did nor she compare my actions to those of my brother or sisters. She wanted each of us to be our own person, not mirror images of each other or our parents. 

Though I have been going to school for 18 years preparing me for a career, the thing I want to do most is be a mom. I want to have kids running around, errands to run and craziness at my house...I want what I had growing up. Even with such an awesome Mom to teach me how to raise my kids the way she raised us, I am petrified that I will not be a good mother. 

It is the hardest job anyone could take on but I can only imagine the reward when you work for weeks to get your child to wave bye-bye and they finally do it when Dad leaves to go to work. How amazing must it feel when you work for weeks with them to study for a test and they come home so proud because they made an A?

So to all you mothers, thank you for everything you do and Happy Mothers Day! To my Mom who reads this blog faithfully and loves to keep up with my life, I love you more than my luggage!